Wednesday, May 15, 2013

What makes Love last forever?

Today is my 15th anniversary and I’ve spent a good bit of the day pondering what made our marriage survive this long, and why I feel so confident it will last forever. I’ll start by telling you a little secret. My wife, Regina, and I met through a valentine personal ad. Shhhh, don’t tell anyone. These things aren’t supposed to lead to marriage, and definitely aren’t supposed to last, so what’s the trick, what have we done that so many others have failed at?

It could be that we don’t throw the D word (divorce) around like it could happen at any moment. We’ve argued, we’ve slammed doors, we’ve made each other furious—that’s bound to happen in fifteen years—but we ALWAYS meet back in the middle. Maybe we’ve just been lucky, if you believe in such a thing. Some might argue that it’s all just blind luck whether your marriage works or not. I like to think a higher power is in charge of it. My wife and I ardently believe God has his hand on our relationship. So what about other “faithful” followers who fall prey to the D word? It takes more than faith in God. You have to have that same faith in your relationship.

I know you’re wondering, Regina and I must be a perfect match, right? Sort of. Truth is, we are total opposites in personality. She’s aggressive, strong willed, says what’s on her mind. I was a very shy child and carried that into adulthood. I don’t like conflict, prefer instead to solve problems as quietly as possible. You could say I’m soft spoken. Or at least, I was. You see, over the past 15 years, something odd has happened; we’ve rubbed off on each other, in a very good way. Sometimes we are two peas in a pod, though. Like when we go to a restaurant and I’ll order the exact same thing she does. We never have to disagree about food, or movies, or travel. We love to get out and see the world. We can both compromise and get what we want at the same time.

My wife is an amazing woman, and I like to think she married an amazing man. What are the odds?

So I think I’ve figured out why we’ve made it this far. Are you ready for the secret? Here it is. It has worked for us so far.

Kiss each other good morning—no matter what—and kiss each other goodnight—no matter what.